Growing up I had (and still have) an awesome family. As a family of 6 on a pastor’s salary while we had everything we needed, we didn’t get lots of extras. And I grew up knowing finances were always a source of concern. An underlying message was always, “we don’t know if there will be enough.” I didn’t realize how deeply that message sank until well into my adult life and I realized that I live with that underlying tape running in my brain – “I don’t have enough…” or “will there be enough?” and I live with the fear there won’t be.
Now to be clear, I don’t have a ton of disposable income, but I do have “enough”. My bills are paid, I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, clothes in my closet, food on my table. But in many ways I also have more than enough. My life overflows with friends who are devoted and awesome. I live in a place where God’s beauty can be seen most all the time in sunny blue skies and spectacular mountains. I have a job that fills me and I know I’m making a difference in the world around me.
Even with all that, I still have days where the fear of “not enough” drives the bus of my life. And when that happens, I slip over into a scarcity mindset and then it is really hard to be generous and giving. So, when that happens…I have to choose a new driver for my life!
When I choose to let Jesus drive my life, I then can release my death grip on what is “mine” and let go…trusting what God says about providing for my daily needs. It’s not always easy, but it does bring great joy. And what I have learned over the years is that it is actually much more fulfilling to trust and be generous – not just with my money, but with my time, talents, passions as well. And in giving I receive. And in choosing Jesus over fear, I receive life…and joy.
It’s not easy to shift our mind or heart set off of “not enough”, but I want to challenge you as I am challenging myself this season: choose trusting Jesus…and be generous with what you have. And see how the Lord can work in you and through it. It’s scary sometimes and immensely satisfying at others…and I guarantee it will grow your relationship with the one you choose to trust – Jesus. Pastor Jane Jebsen, Missional Pastor